Wednesday, July 9, 2008

I'M A SPECIAL BOY TODAY - YIPPEE!

"SPECIAL BOY" GUARD DUTY
Jubal, Homer J. and Jack
Guarding the Kitchen Island and Trash Cabinet
(A.P. Photo dtd 7-09-2008)

Howdy pardners. This is Jackson, a.k.a. "Jack," pounding the little black squares to let y'all know that I'm a "SPECIAL BOY" today. Usually only the old guys, Homer J. and Jubal, are special boys, but sometimes one of us younger boogies gets to be a "SPECIAL BOY" and today the moon and the stars have aligned so that I, Jack, have been selected by the GODS (well at least by Dad) to be designated as a "SPECIAL BOY." Being a "SPECIAL BOY" is truly an honor which is not bestowed lightly or without due consideration. It is recognition of no less than OUTSTANDING, close to perfect personal behavior on the part of the designated dog, in this case me: Jack. Please take note that sometimes just slightly whimpering at the appropriate time or bowing one's head and using sorrowful puppy eyes glances can influence the distinguished judges (Mom and Dad) to invoke the status of "SPECIAL BOY" (or special girl in the case of the ladies). The duties and responsibilities of being designated "SPECIAL BOY" are both strenuous and significant. First of all, you are summoned into the big house right after breakfast in the kennel; sometimes the "SPECIAL BOY" is even invited to have breakfast in the big house with none other than the honored and venerable elders themselves, Homer J and Jubal (WOW!). After breakfast the "SPECIAL BOY" also has to consume a thick rawhide chewy while lounging around in the big house. The "SPECIAL BOY" is required to do a lot of lounging throughout the day, but it is truly an honor to lounge in the big house. Another duty of the "SPECIAL BOY" throughout the day is cleaning up the numerous small sized milk bones that mysteriously appear in Mom or Dad's hands whenever they are over by the counter treat can. "SPECIAL BOYS" must always be on the alert for these excursions towards the treat can. Yet another "SPECIAL BOY" duty is to make sure that the Mon and Dad's big bed is keeped comfortable for them. This requires one or more (usually three) "SPECIAL BOYS" to spend a considerable portion of the work day lying in various positions on different sections of the bed to insure that all spots and portions of the big bed meet the maximum comfort standard specification. It's a tough job but it's something the "SPECIAL BOYS" are required to do. Not just any dog can be trusted to carry out these arduous tasks, it takes extreme lack of concentration and laziness to be able to lounge around as much as is required. An additional "SPECIAL BOY" duty is keeping Jubal's toy box empty (ALL toys belong to Jubal - the rest of us are graciously allowed to use them occasionally). This isn't as easy as it sounds because Mom and Dad like to sneak around and pick up the toys that we place precisely around the big house and then put them back INTO Jubal's toy box when we're not looking; I'm telling you that it can be frustrating at times. We have sometimes had to resort to sneaking the toys to the OUT and hiding them in the paddock. But even then, Dad will usually find them and take them back to the IN to give to Mom. Mom likes to put the toys that have been to the OUT in the water machine to make the mud and neat smells go away, then she cooks the toy in the hot machine before the toy gets put back INTO Jubal's toy box. Then we "SPECIAL BOYS" , sometimes with the help of the rest of the pack, have to start the cycle all over again; it's a never ending battle. I had to study hard to be appointed a "SPECIAL BOY." In reviewing my epic volume of The History of The World Famous Bumpass Hounds, I discovered that there have been many "SPECIAL BOYS." Old Bear Dog (OBD) is the first noted "SPECIAL BOY" followed by Rusty, Penny ("SPECIAL GIRL"), Chance and Gordon. Chance was famous for lounging on his back in the big house bed. Gordon was a statuous fixture who would lounge with his "blanky" on the family room carpet. Old Bear Dog preferred to lounge on his orthopedic bed (wherever it might be placed), while Rusty and Penny could lounge anywhere comfortably, but preferred sofas and overstuffed easy chairs. I now have to uphold the tradition of the "SPECIAL BOYS" that have gone before me. I am proud to be a "SPECIAL BOY."
Jack (trainee) - Homer J. (expert) - Jubal (expert +)

"SPECIAL BOYS"

1 comment:

Charity, Gary, Katie & Louis said...

Thanks for visiting our blog. You guys have an awesome looking pack :-)

Sending big sloppy Newfie kisses your way, Katie & Louis the Newfs

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