Thursday, May 13, 2010

ALEX'S VETERINARY TIPS




HOW TO GIVE A PILL TO A CAT
- PART I
Hey Hounders,
Alex P. Kitten here with some handy advice on how to administer medication to your feline friends.  This can be a complicated process, so I've decided to make these a two part project and this is the first installment.  Because of the complexity, I've decided to provide illustrations.  So let's get started.  So your vet has prescribed some tablet or capsule medication for your kitty "Itchy."  It's time to give sweet itty bitty Itchy his/her first tablet; what to you do now.  Well, here is: -

How to Give a Cat a Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
 

Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.
Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand.

Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe

 
Call spouse in from the garden.


6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.

Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail.

Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.




Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw




 

Part II will be posted tomorrow.

Please don't forget the AHGRRS air-conditioner fund drive that we are hosting.  We're at 70% of goal but need your ONE DOLLAR donation to reach our goal of $400.00 
- Alex (a.k.a. Big Al) and The Bumpass Hounds and Kitties

7 comments:

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Time to ask again:

Why do people have khats?

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Huffle Mawson said...

That is very funny Alex. My brother poo-face Salvador did all of those things :)

Sheila and Bob said...

Rolling on the floor here, BOL, BOL. BOL


Hamish & Sophie

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! Lots of Golden Thanks ... funny indeed n I'll pass it on to my kitty friends. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Fred said...

Wait...you don't just open they's mouth, throw the pill in as hard as you can, then clamp they's mouth shut until they swallow that pill?
That's what Old Girl does with me anyways.

LUCKY LUKE said...

That was hilarious!

The Mom was once left in charge of her firteen god kittehs, and she had to use the cat pill popper. It did not work, and the Mom worried about kitteh wifout the pill...

As for me, wrap that pill up in a tasty pill pocket and I'm all good!

Cannot wait to read Episode Two! Does it contain words: "Send Spouse to vet tech school"?

wif love from the Luke

Clive said...

We'll still laughing away here!

Great fun!

take care
Clive and the NSLM

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