Monday, April 25, 2011

BORU'S HUMOR

A BRIEF WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR




Hey Hounders,
Dad was working on the front porch and stairs renovation all weekend so we didn't have any blogging time; as usual.  But this morning he thought he'd let sneak in a note just to let ya all know that we're still alive and kicking.  weather has been a bit bizarre in that it's 40 degrees one day and 96 degrees the next.  fortunately no tornado here and we hope everyone out in the mid west and NC is OK and didn't get involved in the twisters there.  I have received a lot of old material recently so I thought that today would be a good day for.................................
STANDUP BORU

Here's a few comments about one of my favorite subject; women ......... blonde women to be more precise.


DISNEYLAND  
Two blondes were going to Disneyland .  They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.  They started crying and turned around and went home.  
          
FLORIDA OR MOON  
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'  The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'  
       
CAR TROUBLE  
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.  After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.  
She says, 'What's the story?'  
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor' 
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?' 
     
SPEEDING TICKET  
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.  
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.  Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!' 
     
RIVER WALK  
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?' 
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.' 
     
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE  
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. 
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'  
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.  
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?  
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'  
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.' 
     
KNITTING  
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! 
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'  
'NO' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!' 
     
BLONDE ON THE SUN  
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. 
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'  
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'  
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'  The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.  
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!' 
     
IN A VACUUM  
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?' 
     
FINALLY,      
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'  'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!
     

Hey, I want to get in on the fluffy tail comparisons that a bunch of y'all are having:

Is my tail long enough?

It's Longer Than My Leg.

It Was Fluffy Even When i Was A Little Kitty.

5 comments:

browndogcbr said...

Hi Y'all,

What a day brightner...and yes I think your tail is plenty long and bushy to win the contest!

Y'all come by now,
Hawk aka BrownDog

Sheila and Bob said...

Boru, All those cars that are parking in front of your house are Blondes, that want to talk to you BOL,BOL,BOL........
And Yes you tail definetley qualifies, not only is it Fluffy, but WOW !! it is long.

Keep an eye to the sky more heavy weather is due, this has been some year, we cross our paws and send our prayers to all those affected.

Hamish & Sophie

Gus said...

Oh wow...I am sending my sissie E.Rabbit over to read the Boru Bits! She is a sucker for blonde jokes.

kisses
gussie

kitty kitty said...

Thank you for the amusing post :) Definitely made me lol.

Shane Kent Louis said...

Hello Kitty! you look lovely in your pictures! I like your tantalizing eyes! wew!.. :)

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